The Non-existent Bargain

There are several things I would like to write about but I must be very careful how they are worded as they are personal and also represent a slight risk to someone's identity. However, after a conversation over the long weekend I asked a rather personal question. There are those among us that have changed dramatically over time and for good reason as they adopt to a more critical thinking methodology and as a result, ultimately change their whole paradigm as a result of evidence based living. As a consequence of that whole paradigm shift, friends will get miffed, families might get torn apart, marriages may end, life gets tough...

So the question is...Did you keep your end of the bargain?

I suppose it depends on the definition of the bargain. You see, as a former believer, I can understand why I could get shunned by friends and family although I think their reasons are pretty silly. But I lucked out on the whole "Christian marriage" thing because I never went ahead with that. Others have not been as fortunate. "Christian marriage" is something one enters with the understanding that the Christian god is at the centre of said marriage. If you stop believing in that god, then what? There are non-believers that will say "you didn't keep your end of the bargain...

Are they right?

In some instances I suppose they are. But I also must argue that, in the case of the non-believer, that bargain and/or agreement is rooted in fantasy and not reality. Therefore, there is no real, tangible arrangement. That is to say, "Christian marriage" is just a myth, a nonsensical institution that has no basis in reality. On a very basic level, it is an institution that has co-opted our basic evolutionary reason to exist, to eat and replicate, or reproduce

Are they still right?

I really don't know for sure. One thing I do know is that relationships falter not because of one reason. There is an accumulative effect at work that suddenly culminates into a complete dissolution of that relationship not unlike bringing down a modern airliner...there are just many, many factors that can accumulate to ultimate disaster.

You could still argue that the non-believer did not keep their end of the bargain, but I don't think it's a very good one, at least for me. For one, I would have to ask what you expected from the other person and how much you truly loved the other person for who they were, or who you thought they were, if in fact that was realistic etc.

We change. We evolve. That is reality. One of the few things that is certain in life is variability...Just not sure it's a good reason to end something special.